Its been a while since I have last posted. Wow, over a year and some change...
I actually hope no one follows me anymore lol, It would be nice to have a private journal online. I suppose the reason I don't make it private is so that if anyone so happens to stumble upon my blog and recieve even a punctuation of encouragement, it would be worth it.
It has been a long and enduring summer. Though it is coming to the end of just one season, spiritually I feel as though I have been through many. I am far from where I was at the beginning of summer both spiritually, mentally, and unfortunately even financially. It is at moments like these when I sit down and reflect upon where I was and where God has led me that I praise Him and realize that He has been faithful every step of the way. Similar to how our ancient fathers who would erect pillars throughout their journeys and wilderness experience in order to remind them of all the places where God has been faithful, like in Genesis 35:14 when God speaks to Jacob and blesses him at Bethel. Everyday I am understanding more and more what it means to be completely dependent and lean hard on the cross of Christ. That throughout my journey with Christ I can erect pillars at every triumph God has made in my life so that when God feels distant and I begin to doubt, I can look back and say "Wow, my God has been faithful thus far... why should I doubt him now?"
In terms of my goals and aspirations after this last year and a half of undergrad, not much has changed. I still don't know what I want to do, don't know where I am headed, don't know if I should pursue the dental field or finish up my anthropology degree, don't know how I am planning on paying off my loans, if I should apply for grad school, if getting married is even a possibility lol (grace and mercy be to the one God finds for me :P), but I still have peace. The kind that surpasses all understand, that as I walk with Jesus, the Holy Spirit will fill me at all times, and all God calls me to be is faithful and obedient. I know God will throw the rest of that other material jargon when He is willing, and when I am ready.
Perhaps that most valuable thing I learned in this past Harvest Retreat I was at a week ago was to be a Man. And as a man, I must be one with integrity; faithful to the little things God has entrusted to me. I am excited for the upcoming semester and all the wonders God has planned for the UMBC campus and the rest of the DC & MD & VA region. May His grace fall afresh on the children He has set apart for the sowing and reaping of His infinite glory.
Submerged in His mercy, drowned by His grace...
-jHoon
Refiners Fire
There burns a fire with sacred heat
White hot with holy flame
And all who dare pass through its blaze
Will not emerge the same
Some as bronze, and some as silver
Some as gold, then with great skill
All are hammered by their sufferings
On the anvil of His will
The Refiner's fire
Has now become my souls desire
Purged and cleansed and purified
That the Lord be glorified
He is consuming my soul
Refining me, making me whole
No matter what I may lose
I choose the Refiner's fire
I'm learning now to trust His touch
To crave the fire's embrace
For though my past with sin was etched
His mercies did erase
Each time His purging cleanses deeper
I'm not sure that I'll survive
Yet the strength in growing weaker
Keeps my hungry soul alive
-Green Steve
